Acne is something I have struggled with for 8 years, does't sound like too much of a problem to some, but living everyday with painful spots for so long at an age where appearance starts to become your life really does take a toll of your mental state. The past 10 years has seen drastic developments in acne treatments, many of which I had the fun time of trying out. If you couldn't sense it, that was sarcasm.
When my skin first decided to ruin my life, I thought nothing of it, probably hormones right? Everyone is bound to get spots at some point in their life, no need to fuss. Many people go years feeling just fine about having acne and I salute you! There is nothing wrong with having acne and theres no reason to be ashamed or feel bad but I was surrounded by young girls who had perfect skin, I'd never been taught about skin care and such. I started using make up to cover up my skin, I can't say if this made my skin any worse but I thought it'd make me feel a bit better about myself. This applying of make up became a large part of my daily routine for the next half a decade. I would wake up hours before school started to scrub my face with whatever medicated face wash I had brought that time, desperate for just one of these miracle spot products to work. Then I would start my self taught make up routine, no moisturiser as that contained oils and I had been told oil caused acne. Bright orange foundation, dream matte moose of course, and mascara, the only make up I knew existed. I would repeat this when I returned home from school incase anyone would come round and possibly see my bare face.
very soon my acne got worse and worse, and yet more painful. I must have been 13 when I first visited the doctor about my skin, I was told to stop worrying about my appearance and that soon enough they'd go away. The words of doctors from countless appointments have stuck with me for years and continue to make me feel embarrassed whenever I look back on them. Many months of appointments with different doctors with all of them implying I was vain and dismissed me when I asked about different treatments I could try. Finally after years I was prescribed a peroxide cream, at the time this was the best spot treatment available for prescription, there wasn't much research about causes of acne but at this point I was in so much pain, the doctors were obliged to help me. This cream seemed to work until the day I woke up to find it had burned my skin and large chunks of my face peeled off with ease. More appointments, more creams, no success.
Now acne research is swaying towards bacteria causing acne, so I'm prescribed a low dose of antibiotic, one every day to two years. Two years later I'm back with another appointment, not only have the antibiotics not worked but my skin is worse, new research shows that acne isn't caused by bacteria so that was a waste of time and now the doctor doesn't know what to do. I'm told to 'try and stop eating dairy' which may or may not cause acne, she doesn't really know. Surprisingly this does't work and my self esteem is at its lowest. I won't leave the house, I cover my mirror with posters and I sit in the dark incase of any reflective surface allowing me to see my skin. The doctors tell me to stop making a fuss and i'm effectively left to my own misery.
My poor mum does't know what to do. She can't stand seeing me misserable so searches the internet for any sign of hope. Through this period of time I try Chinese herbal treatments and therapy that blames phycological problems for acne, clear mind clear skin I am reminded. This is my life for a while. I lost all hopes of having clear skin or any shred of self confidence, and again I am told my appearance isn't everything and that I'm still beautiful but how is a young teenage girl supposed to believe that when she's surrounded by so many 'perfect' women, girls who have a couple spots on their period and shout about how ugly they look for a couple days and advertising for spot treatments telling me i need to find a quick solution to be beautiful?
Yet more money spent on every new spot product I walk past, still ridden with acne getting worse and worse. I'm put on the birth control pill, hormones are being researched into by skin care specialists so maybe this could work? Nope, my skin reacts awfully to the new medication in my system but I stick with it, and stick with it, and stick with it.
(Sorry to be repetitive)I'm back at the doctors. I'm sitting by myself, I've been crying all morning. I don't want to be here to be told again that I'm wasting their time, but this will be the last time I'm there, I decided with myself that this will just be what I look like forever, dramatic I know but its been 6 years and nothings happened. Here's where something good actually happened. I'm referred to the dermatology ward of the general hospital where they've started prescribing a new treatment, Isotretinoin. Lucky me is a perfect candidate for the treatment, and get prescribed it straight away. Every four weeks I go get my tablets and checked over by the nurse, I do this for 18 months. I've been off the medication for 8 months now and my skin is absolutely spot free. I don't want to go to much into Isotretinoin as I am not an expert in it at all, I'm merely saying it's what worked for me so if you feel you'd want to try it then talk to a professional.
I wanted to get this out there was for people who have felt discouraged by doctors talking about their skin, I know first hand how much of a phycological affect acne can have on you, its something someone who does't have acne won't understand. I felt so stupid for so long due to doctors comments and I don't want other people to think theres no options. The biggest thing I took from this whole ordeal was that no one else was bothered by my skin. People I know say they never took much notice and they certainly didn't think anything of my acne if they even noticed it. Now I have beautiful skin in my opinion, I'm allowed to be vain about it I have definitely earned it, but when I get compliments on my skin I tend to go into the whole Isotretinoin spiel then realise I can just say thank you.
Basically, acne isn't a big deal to most people, but it's allowed to be a big deal to you if you suffer from it. There is no taboo in talking about how you feel about it and there is always something that can help you get clear skin if you want clear skin! Also don't spend loads of money on medicated skin care products, they pretty much never work.
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