Watching people on social media living their 'best' life is getting to me - I know half of it is staged and the other half is someones best bits but it's making me feel sad. Since I've been on break from University and have moved back to my parents house I've been in a bit of a rut. I've broken the routine I had become so accustomed to for the past 10 months and now it's so close to the start of the next university year I'm looking at this time I've had off and realising I haven't done anything and that makes me feel rubbish because I hate not being productive.
I love being at my parents but I miss having my space and my own plans, just little things like planning and cooking my own dinner has changed and it's thrown me into the air for no apparent reason. It's most likely that I feel like this because it's my first big break from university and hopefully during the next break I can use this experience to improve my time. Don't get me wrong I have had a lovely time but I'm so excited to go back and start learning again and being back to my everyday life.
Being back in my hometown takes me back to the time before I started University and I have changed so incredibly much since that time. So much has happened this year and I'm not the same person I was then but I was in the same environment and I hadn't thought to change anything about it. As I've written about before I re-decorated my bedroom and even that small change really helped me start being productive again because the space I was in inspired me again and made me feel comfortable.
Another thing I've been working on is making peace with the fact that sometimes things just don't go your way. Sometimes there are days where you don't have plans or things just aren't working out and that's ok. I used to (and sometimes still do) get upset when I feel as though I haven't done enough, mostly this revolves around my blog. I want to write and post as much as I can but sometimes I don't have any ideas or I get too busy to dedicate time to writing or I just plainly don't have the energy, and I need to get it into my brain that that is ok - and I'm getting there.
Spending time on my own and relaxing is the best medicine for me to get me back to my 100%, everyone is different and different things help them improve themselves. I've started eating clean and drinking more water which is getting my energy levels up and I've started following yoga videos on YouTube whenever I can to relax and show my body some love. I still will try to bleach and dye my hair in the hopes that the change in my appearance will equal a change in myself even though I know its a time old method that will never work but at least I'm trying something.
I am trying to evolve to become a better version of myself, but sometimes there are situations that you can't control and we just have to accept that and adapt so we can learn and improve.
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