I'm nearly 20 and I have done near to nothing on BuzzFeeds '20 things to do before you turn 20' list. I am going into the decade of real world decisions and it's slightly daunting, but do I really care that I haven't done what BuzzFeed has decided I need to? Well, no. But also kind of yes. To me, my 20-somethings will be the decade that my adult life will begin, hopefully anyway.
Such big things are going to happen in this next ten years, what if I never get the chance to learn a choreographed dance routine? Or finally master how to use chopsticks? The BuzzFeed list is a little bit silly but it did make me realise that I spent so much of my time in school and college just focusing on getting myself good grades so I could get a good job. And as good as that is for my brain, I feel like I let myself miss out on most of the fun stuff.
So now I want to look forward to things I can do in the future, mainly so I don't freak myself out over not being a teenager anymore. I found a list of 'feelings towards your 20's' that will hopefully get me excited about the years to come, rather than scare the shit out of me.
(I'm second to the left)
2 - I can't wait for ... all of the little things. Moving and decorating new living spaces, fun night's out with friends, celebrations with people I love. Just making even more memories with the people that mean the most.
3 - I'm don't want to ... miss out on anything
4 - I'm wearing ... whatever I want to. I spent ages trying to look a certain way to impress people or I wore loads of make up because 'acne is ugly', now I just can't be bothered to 'keep people happy'. I'll wear what I want, if I want to wear loads of make up, I will and if I don't want to, I won't. Simple.
5 - Turning 20 represents ... starting my career. I know what I want to do after years and years of changing my mind, I might change my mind again and that's ok. But for now I will focus on getting myself out there and starting to work towards my goal.
(I'm on the left!)
6 - The best thing about being a teenager was ... the people I met. Though now I may not be as close to some, everyone I have met has taught me something that has helped me grow as a person. I feel very lucky to have the friends I do and I love them all very much.
7 - I'm excited to try ... and write a book. It's something I've wanted to do for a while but have always been too scared to share my writing with people. After starting my blog I feel way more comfortable putting my work out there.
8 - I'm inspired by ... Joan Didion and Caroline Coon. Two strong women who worked in journalism at the time where it was pretty much entirely run by males (not too much progression here though). I love their work and they inspire me to stick to my guts and be confident in myself. If you don't know either of these ladies, please educate yourself because they're great.
9 - I'm trying to ... turn nervousness into excitement. Most things I get nervous about always end up being really fun and exciting, so there was no point being nervous in the first place. My dad has always told me I worry too much and it's not easy to not be nervous but I'm giving it a go. I'm not saying you should never get nervous, obviously there are things that it's natural to be nervous about but I'm talking about silly little things that just make no sense to get scared over.
10 - I'm worrying about ... leaving uni. I love my course and even though I obviously want to earn my degree I don't want a real job, I want to stay and live off my student loan forever.
12 - I'm loving ... writing things for my blog. Having a hobby like this gives me so much to do and helps be practice for my future.
13 - I'm listening to ... everything! There's so much music and I want to hear it all.
14 - I'm hoping ... that at some point in my life I can be in a position to help others who need it.
15 - I'm surprised about ... the amount my confidence has grown. If this time last year you told me the things I've had the opportunity to do, the people I've got to meet and the places and events I've got to attend after putting myself out there and meeting new people, I wouldn't have believed you, like at all. I was so shy and so self-conscious, I hated talking to people and always thought people didn't like me but now I've gained so much confidence and I go out and do things now that I never thought I would be able to.
16 - I'm proud of ... myself. Self love has helped me big time, I'm the happiest I've ever been and, comparing myself to me years prior, I'm making way more healthy decisions and loving myself like I deserve. Big steps for me.
17 - I'm thinking about ... how I'm not yet old enough to drink in America and how fun it'll be to eventually go to New York - but only when I can legally drink there.
18 - I want to learn ... how to do taxes. How can I be twenty and I not understand how tax works.
19 - I've realised ... that not everything happens for a reason, some bad things may lead to better times but most of the bad things just happen and we don't know why.
20 - I'm going to live my twenties ... day by day. I want to live in the moment and experience everything I can, cherish the memories I get to make and be happy.
I think I'm over the BuzzFeed list now. Happy Birthday to me!!
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